Audrey Hepburn's 5 iconic movies ranked.

Also- my first newsletter! I decided to rank five of Audrey Hepburn's films because I had nothing better to do.

Audrey Hepburn was an actor, an icon, a humanitarian. Her impact is still very much visible, fashion-wise, at least. You may never never have watched her films, but you will probably know her by her name itself, or her occupation, or her pictures, or most likely, by her very famous movie, Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

This summer, when I was finally free from studying for a while, I decided to dive into her filmography; needless to say, I was quite impressed with the variety of genres and characters she had in her bag. I watched ten of her films, but for my first newsletter, I decided to take into account 5 films that were at different ends of the dimension- two that were meh, and three that were really, really great.

Without further ado, here’s my ranking of her films, starting with the “meh”:

10. FUNNY FACE (1957)

A brief synopsis: Audrey Hepburn plays a shy bookstore employee, who also is apparently a “nerd”, at least according to 1950’s standards. She is accidentally photographed by a fashion magazine photographer played by Fred Astaire, who believes she can be the next big thing, despite other people at the magazine believing that Audrey Hepburn, of all people, has a … “funny face”. The movie basically revolves around her newfound career as a model, and her inherent desire to dive into philosophical concepts. There’s also an unnecessary romance forced between Audrey and Fred.

I think the part that I hated the most was that the movie tried to convince me that Audrey has a funny face. If that’s what they believe about her, then they would probably find my face absolutely, stomach aching-ly, tears-in-the-eyes, hilarious. But alas, this is an unfortunate effect of movie reality.

The other thing I hated, is the romantic plot between Audrey and Fred’s characters. They have an age gap of 30 years. He was 58, and she was 28 at the time. Their entire relationship felt odd, forced, with absolutely no chemistry, and no desire to root for them whatsoever. I would have much, MUCH preferred if they had just remained friends.

(This is unfortunately, not the only time Audrey has been paired alongside someone old enough to be her father.)

The rest of the movie, is actually quite good- colourful, funny, bright and charming. The outfits that Audrey wears throughout the film are just gorgeous eye-candy, and she herself is very funny and charming. The best thing about the movie, at least for me, is this scene given below.

9. PARIS WHEN IT SIZZLES (1964)

Paris When It Sizzles is a movie about a Hollywood screenwriter, played by William Holden, trying to overcome his severe writer’s block in an attempt to finish his entire movie script within a day. Audrey plays his secretary, who has to type the script that he dictates, while also getting involved with his imagination as he tries to come up with a vast number of potential plots for a movie titled The Girl Who Stole The Eiffel Tower. And of course, the movie also involves a romance that blooms between the two, though it is easier to digest as the actors are closer in age.

The movie started out great! It was an innovative concept- especially considering that this was made a really long time ago. It was a film that was made up of a number of films. The screenwriter cooks up a variety of different storylines, characters, dialogue, genres and even locations. He eventually ends up making himself the “hero” in this “movie”, and Audrey the “heroine”, which results in a number of utterly silly, ridiculous scenes.

Unfortunately, the movie ends up a bit exhausting and long-winded, as a few of the imagined plots turn out to be disappointing and dull. The entire plot point of the movie, in the end, turns out be absolutely nothing at all, and only an excuse to bring the characters together in the end.

However, it’s not all bad. Audrey ends up playing a number of characters she had never attempted to play before- like a con artist, for example. You can tell she had a lot of fun making this movie because of how unoriginal it was, and that’s really nice to see! She gets to show off her humorous, fun side, letting her hair down. Literally and metaphorically speaking.

William and Audrey have great chemistry, and that honestly helps in keeping the entire movie together. This was almost definitely due to the fact that they were involved in an extremely long-winded affair with each other in real life.

The best thing about the movie is the fact that it’s kind of a parody; it makes fun of Hollywood, the movies it makes, the characters it cooks up, and honestly, even the process that goes into the making of a movie. It even references a few of Audrey’s films! It’s goofy, and thankfully does not take itself too seriously for the most part. Here's a little clip.

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Now, coming to the “great ones”:

3. TWO FOR THE ROAD (1967)

Two For The Road is a simple movie with a very simple concept while managing to masterfully explore a number of different situations and emotions. It’s a story of hate, and love; of pain, and healing, of the past, and the present.

As someone who loves The Before Trilogy , which, in my opinion is one of the best movie trilogies ever, this movie was absolutely my cup of tea, right from the very beginning. It starts with Audrey’s character looking at a newly married couple and stating to her husband played by Albert Finney (who actually happens to be *gasp* younger than her!!) :“ They don't look very happy”; then he replies, “Why should they? They just got married.” That’s when I immediately knew that I would love the movie.

You may have guessed, through this rather awkward and short conversation, that their marriage is not in the best place at the moment. He gives too much importance to his career, and she’s tired of becoming a second priority to him.

The movie has a non-linear timeline, which means that it passes through the past and the present at the same time- we get to see the young couple as they get to know each other, as they fall in love, as they realize how much they need each other, all while also being treated to the magnificent French scenery. We get to see the couple in the present- the older ones, who are married; they’ve lost the passion, the intense love that had brought them together in the first place. Financially, they’re in a much better position, but as a unit, they start to waver, and even seek shelter in the arms of other people.

They’re unsatisfied with each other- they even question whether they actually love each other. The movie beautifully shows them fall in love, and then how they start falling out of love. You feel your heart breaking for the couple. Albert and Audrey have fantastic chemistry, and it’s brilliant how they can just use their tone, their posture, and their body language alone to show the changes that occur in the couple’s relationship. Audrey breaths life into the role of a frustrated, unhappy wife who feels neglected, and Albert is great at playing a husband who is in too deep in his career, forgetting about his family and not reflecting on the fact that he could often be a selfish jerk.

I have absolutely zero complaints about this movie, and I am SO glad I decided to watch it. I don’t know why I’m drawn to relationships that are “on the rocks” in movies/T.V Shows/ Books. Maybe it’s because I like the drama? Is it because I like seeing people unhappy? Do I like watching the world burn? Am I a sociopath? The answer scares me.

A bonus that the movie provides is Audrey’s clothes- are they dated? Yes. But they are so, so very glamorous. An example:

A short clip from the movie!

4. CHARADE (1963)

Charade is often called the “Hitchcock movie that wasn’t made by Hitchcock”; and that is a very apt description of the movie. It’s thrilling, quick, mysterious, full of suspense, confusing (in a good way), and makes it hard for the watcher to tear their eyes off the screen for even one moment. The movie follows Audrey’s character, whose life is in danger as three men chase her around because her recently deceased husband lost their money. They think that she has the money with her, and attempt to kill her a number of times. Cary Grant plays a handsome stranger who helps the character deal with these shenanigans.

I love this film because of just how unpredictable it can be- just as you think you’ve figured something out, the film throws a curveball that shows just how wrong you are. It’s got a very clever script and great performances, with action-packed scenes and stunts that are very impressive for its time. It’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions which I found exciting and exhilarating. Audrey’s confusion and frustration was literally what I felt watching the film.

Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn were fifty nine and thirty four respectively at the time, and you know what, unlike in Audrey’s other movies where she’s paired opposite geriatrics, the romance here actually works. When I started the movie and first saw who her love interest was, I thought, oh great, another senior citizen. But Cary is very charming, smart, and even funny at times. He was so great I actually started watching his movies, too. I think the fact that Audrey was older here also helps. The two characters have such a great rapport and chemistry, that it works just fine. Interestingly enough, Cary felt uncomfortable with the idea of a guy his age romantically pursuing a character as young as Audrey’s, so the script was changed so that her character pursued his. Even more interestingly enough, Cary Grant’s wife in real life was forty seven years younger than him.

Here’s a short video from the movie-

1. HOW TO STEAL A MILLION (1966)

It’s ridiculous, but it’s intelligent. It’s silly, but it makes sense; it’s campy, but it’s sophisticated. How To Steal A Million is without a doubt, my favourite Audrey Hepburn movie, and also one of the best films I’ve ever watched. I think this movie has Audrey’s best love interest, played by the very handsome Peter O'Toole.

It’s a heist movie and a romantic-comedy at the same time, effortlessly managing to juggle the two genres. The movie is about Audrey’s character teaming up with Peter’s, who she thinks is a seasoned burglar, to steal a fake statue her scam artist father had donated to the museum claiming it was genuine. They now have to attempt to steal the statue away, before the museum realizes that it’s a fake and leading to her dad falling into grave trouble. As they make a plan and go through with the plan, they fall for each other.

As a heist film, it may have a few plot holes here and there, but I honestly did not care, and the film didn’t either. Peter’s character is, SPOILER: not actually a burglar. He only helps her because he likes her (aww). Despite this being his first burglary, he’s quite impressive. He looks at the layout of the museum, the security, etc etc. The seamless way the heist is conducted is very satisfying to watch, though it does leave one at the edge of their seat, waiting for something to go wrong.

As a romantic-comedy, it’s absolute perfection. Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole (Who is younger than her !!) have such great playful and romantic chemistry. They don’t start out on the best terms (she assumes he’s a burglar stealing from her house), but they fall in love as they get to know each other. Their dynamic feels so natural and authentic, that you can’t help but love them together. Some of their scenes in the last act of the movie are so, so very adorable. Allegedly Audrey and Peter fell in love during the making of the film? Which probably explains it?? Anyways..

Audrey is always the best thing about her films, but in this one, I think it’s Peter. Audrey is a very close second, though. On a superficial level I liked him a lot because he looked good, but apart from that, his delivery of dialogues, his humour, and a very charming, sophisticated and smart portrayal of the character appealed to me.

As great as Audrey is in this movie, and as glamorous her dresses and makeup are, this is definitely not her best character, though it is very close to being so. (The best is Holly Golightly in Breakfast At Tiffany’s)

Overall, just very simple, witty and romantic. I highly recommend watching it!

A clip:

Another one, just because:

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As I had mentioned earlier, I have watched ten of her films. I decided to do only five because ten would be exhausting to write and read. I’ll be doing the other five soon. For now, these are how the movies are ranked:

10. Funny Face

9. Paris When It Sizzles

8., 7., 6., 5., 4., - ??

3. Two For the Road

2. Charade

1. How To Steal A Million

Thank you so much for reading! I hope it wasn’t too long!

See you next time :)